Viewing posts from December 2015

No Years Resolution

ResolutionsOnce again, I’m not making any resolutions for the New Year. I don’t see the point since I’m still working on resolutions from 1986.

Just a note: To all my highly intelligent readers (that’s every one of you), I greatly appreciate your feedback and support over the last 14 months by reading The ComedyFacelift.com Amusement Park blog.

HNYhatStarting in January, I will only be doing this blog once or possibly twice a month due to an increased workload (I’m not complaining! Thank you, my clients!). So please keep reading TCFAP Blog, but most importantly, have a healthy, prosperous and abundant, safe Happy New Year all year long!

See you next month…

Merry Christmas!

ChristmasTreeDigitalWell, once again it’s Christmas time. Even though I don’t celebrate the holiday, I enjoy the feeling that’s in the air at this time of year. People generally smile more and wish you a Merry Christmas before the clock strikes twelve and they turn back into their usual, depressed selves.

Every year it seems that a little bit of the genuine Christmas spirit dies, the victim of obligatory gift buying. I think that maybe one way to bring back or at least hold on to some of that spirit is to follow some simple steps:

Money’s tight. Don’t go into debt. That’s not a good way to end the year or start the new one. People-pleasing isn’t worth it and it doesn’t pay well.

PerfectFamilyFamily gifts come first, especially the kids. Not your boss. Not your desk-facing co-worker. Even if someone gives you a gift don’t feel obligated to give them one in return. That’s how this whole obligatory gift giving mess got started in the first place. So just say thank you. If they don’t like that they gave you a gift and you didn’t reciprocate, tough. If they’re spiteful and don’t give you a gift next year because of it, good. Then their gift wasn’t given from the heart in the first place. And now you can permanently take them off your list.

If you can’t afford a gift and still want to give one, make something. Cookies (they don’t have to be from scratch). A great photo of someone’s cat or dog. A recipe of something you baked that they liked.

Invite someone over for dinner or a cup of coffee. Friendship and some good conversation/company is getting scarcer in this stupid multi-tasking, can’t-miss-a-phone-call-because-I’m-so-important world.

Have a party where everybody brings what they’re going to eat and drink. It doesn’t have to be a big party, you know. Use paper plates. Make sure you have enough toilet paper. I could make a “party pooper” joke, but I won’t.

Call a friend or relative or two you haven’t spoken to in quite a while. It’ll put a smile on their faces and one on your own, too.

GratitudeListHere’s a great idea. Send or hand someone a Christmas card or a card you made wishing them a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and good health in the coming year. Yeah, what a sucky gift that is, right?, hoping someone has a good time and good health. As you get older, wishes for good health count more and more.

Life got you down? Make a gratitude list. If that doesn’t work, turn on the news and be grateful you’re not one of the unfortunate, hurting souls who are on our TV screens night after night. I realize that there are a lot of people for whom these suggestions won’t be nearly enough, and for that I am truly sorry. Let’s pray for them. It wouldn’t hurt.

YoureNotFunnyAnd lastly, here’s a really good gift idea: buy one of those pre-paid gift cards, or take a couple of dollars, wrap it up and give it to yourself. You deserve it. Treat yourself to something nice. Doesn’t have to be a lot of money.

Okay, this is not one of my funnier posts. But it is from my heart. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!! Even if you don’t celebrate the holiday, maybe you should. Go out and have some fun, for heaven’s sake!

Til next Tuesday

Binge watching. Back next week!

gonefishinI’ve decided to take the week off. But I’ll be back next Tuesday unless I’m having too good a time. Then it might be the week after. So check back. In the meantime, stay safe.

Til next Tuesday

Mind Marbles (cont’d)

Marbles-e1425311576668-120x115.jpgIs it cruel to send a zombie a book of brain teasers?

Are there any zombies who have gone vegan?

Never go to a dentist who has crummy teeth.

MistletoeChristmasYou know those greeting cards that are blank inside? I love sending them as is to people I don’t know in an envelope without a return address.

Speaking of greeting cards, why aren’t there cards for getting a divorce? If ever there was a time for celebration…

I’d like to see more specific greeting cards. You know, like “Congratulations on getting that ugly mole off your neck. What the hell took you so long?”

The expression “back and forth” is backwards. How can you come back if you never went forth?

BBC1930sDid the guy who discovered sun spots go blind? If so, did he then discover blind spots?

It’s a good thing radio wasn’t invented in a tunnel. Nobody would’ve heard anything.

Why didn’t the BBC just call themselves The English Channel?

Til next Tuesday

Forget About Finding Waldo, Where the Hell Are My Keys?

ForgetfulFishI don’t remember the last time I said “I don’t remember the last time I said….” Other than those two times just mentioned, that’s not the only thing I don’t remember. Lots of things have slipped my mind of late. What they are, I don’t know because I don’t remember, remember? Hence, the problem.

As you can imagine, when this started I have no clue. It’s just becoming more and more apparent because it’s happening more frequently. All my friends tell me they have the same problem. At least I think those were my friends…

It’s getting weird. I was on my cell phone talking to my brother this weekend when I went into a panic. I couldn’t remember where I put my cell phone. As I’m talking, I’m frantically looking around for it. Where the hell did I put it? Then I remembered…I was talking on it.

headphoneThat’s happened twice.

As disconcerting as this is, am I worried about it? Not from a medical standpoint, no. And it’s not because of aging, either. The reason we’re pretty much all in the same boat is because we’re inundated with way too much information and things we have to remember to do. That we’ve identified the problem is the good news. The bad news is, as they said in “Jaws,” “we’re going to need a bigger boat.”

So how do we prevent a growing number of us from becoming absent-minded professors? The old adage “A place for everything and everything in its place” comes to mind, which is more than a lot of things can do lately. For example, when I come home I’ve learned to put my car keys in the same place every time. This works beautifully. When I want to go for a drive, my keys are right where I left them.

Now, if I can only remember where I parked my car…

Til next Tuesday

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