I’m thankful I’m not anybody else. First of all, none of their clothes would fit. I don’t know what kind of bills or ex-spouse someone else has. I know what mine are and that’s enough for me to handle. One down, one to go. The bills.
I’m grateful I don’t have to go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. It’s a great parade, but I’ve never enjoyed anything for that long in the cold. The only ways I might want to go is if it was June or they held it indoors.
Speaking of the parade, I’m grateful that for once all the helium in those big parade balloons won’t go to waste. New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that immediately following the parade, the city will be holding the world’s very first Helium Inhalium Party. Get high as a kite. Literally.
I’m grateful for McDonald’s. It’s the only thing I can bring to a picnic that the ants won’t eat.
I’m grateful for antibiotics. I think I’ll just leave it at that.
I’m grateful for politicians. Without them, used car salesmen would still be at the bottom of the Trustworthy Occupations list.
Finally, to all my readers who celebrate it, I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. To all those who don’t celebrate the holiday, I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving even though you have no idea what I’m talking about. Have fun anyway.
Til next Tuesday…